Friday, 19 February 2010

Season 6 Episode 4 - Alternate Timeline - Michelle's Review

We look into John Locke's alternative life had he not crashed, we are reminded he once had a pretty wife a bit out of his league who takes it surprisingly well that he A) lied to her B) is a knife wielding psycho and C) has evidence that he's having an affair with a Dr. called Jack.

John is fired, hired by Hurley via Rose and becomes a teacher with a paedo looking Henry Gale who is a coffee pot dictator in this 'reality'. Alternative plot lines are DULL as, I think I'm meant to be impressed each time a character comes along I recognise from seasons ago. Instead it's like watching a 5 man play where the actors also play alternative characters when donning a moustache and top hat or fake boobs and lipstick.

We see a return to the 'I don't give a damn' Sawyer, which a recent poll of our lady Lostites showed that they prefer the hot-brooding-heart-broken-beer-stinkin' Sawyer to other versions. Although the Davidoff version is hot too. This week who he is so depressed after losing his 'love' Juliet (Juliet who frankly would have seduced anyone to leave the island and go play with her now not sick sister's child) he doesn't care that he's playing in the forest with a ghost/smoke monster/poltergeist/zombie. Despite Richard Maybelline's warnings.

I am a little bored now, just like how I was feeling when watching, falling down ladders, scribbles on walls, erm, only a few names are potential hosts or whatever Zombie Locke said. Erm, LOST **boooooooom**

(Fade to black.)


  1. I must say Toby, that your photoshop brilliance lifts my Lost tirade into a genuine piece of snarky journalism. So, have I replaced you for a week, or will you add your breakdown too?

  2. This review is stupid, only negative stuff, while the ep was, in my opinion, kinda good.
    I understand that you have your own opinion , but if you look on everything like this, then why do you watch Lost in the first place??

  3. Hey 'Anonymous', say your name if you're going to leave a negative comment please! Also, can I just confirm that this is NOT me writing something nasty under a pseudonym. I welcome anyone who wants to replace me as writer of this blog for a week.

    Aside from that, I do think it was a good episode. At least better than last week's boringness. For starters, you missed the following points Michelle:

    Locke was never married to this woman originally. They broke up at some point in season three when the plotline about his Dad was deemed more important. So they never marry, and it was an ongoing mystery as to why he talks to (another) woman called Helen in an early flashback. Was she a prostitute, or were we seeing some other reality...

    Also, Locke mentions being on speaking terms with his Dad. If this is the same father that threw him out of a tower-block window, after stealing his kidney, I doubt that very much. But if so, how come he's still paralysed?

    In fact, if neither his love life or his physical well being took a turn for the disabled, it could well be the same as to what's happened to Hurley, this alternate reality has dealt him a much cheerier hand. If so, how come he still feels so despairing about his situation that he needs to reinvent himself on a walkabout?

    Which leads to the final mystery. Did Locke go on a walkabout or didn't he? He said he did to Boone, but was probably lying. He said he tried to do so to his boss Randy, and told his fiance he at least tried. Why is this event being withheld so purposefully at the moment? A theory I like is that it's because the 'Walkabout' in question is Locke's original Island visit. The week he spends away is the one hundred days we saw between season one to three. He's crossed over between dimensions, to where the bomb went off, the place crashed, and he can walk.

    All very exciting.